Tuesday, December 19, 2017

I believe...I believe...


Working B.I.U.(Belief Integrity Unit) all these years you never get tired of seeing somebody that got tagged "naughty" doing something, a good deed, kind letter, evidence of sincere belief, anything, that impresses the Chief enough to get their name scratched from one list and ranked among the NICE. Case in point, one, Delmer Fotswell. Got angry and told his kids Santa got shot down over the Soviet Union so there'd be no Christmas.

Well, let's put it this way, he's the one that wouldn't have a Christmas. Belief Tampering, especially when children are involved, is taken as seriously as an appearance on a Hidden Camera Sting TV Show. It was put plainly to Delmer that he needed to get this sidewalk swept or...let's say we pointed out the consequences of what would happen if he didn't. Not trying to be coy, even we have a code of ethics, lines drawn, and if I were to say anything other than he was convinced, well...no more Christmas for me either.

I've been authorized to tell you that if anyone is on the bubble, dangerously close to sliding to naughty Santa is looking very kindly this year on throwers of Christmas potatoes...


The Story of the Christmas Potato video



Here is the message we attach to potatoes prior to throwing in yards:

No one is quite sure how the tradition of the Christmas Potato began. Many believe it began in the later half of the 20th century when a young man tossed seasonal greetings wrapped around uncooked potatoes into the yards of houses decorated with Christmas lights. It was his way of saying thank you and Merry Christmas. Before the advent of the Christmas Potato there was no way to easily thank those who brighten our holiday season with their unselfish efforts. Now each year children and adults alike look forward to the annual pitching of the holiday spud.  But why a potato? The young man grew up in a town called Topeka which means a good place to dig potatoes.


Thursday, December 1, 2016

Operation Potato 2016



Pull up a chair, grab some hot chocolate, maybe an eggnog and take a few minutes to watch the original holiday classic that never was, The Story of the Christmas Potato.

2016 marks 34 years of holiday tossing. Click the link below to learn the true story of one young lad's obsession and how it morphed into the tradition it is today. The story was first put to paper in 1984 to easily explain the purpose of tossing potatoes at Christmas time. Flash forward to 1993 and the original artwork was done on the state-of-the-art graphics program, KidPix for the students of Travis Elementary. Then in 2014 the art was updated again. The story is as true as it is corny. And now for your entertainment and enlightenment click on the link below.

The Story of the Christmas Potato video


Here is the message we attach to potatoes prior to throwing in yards:

No one is quite sure how the tradition of the Christmas Potato began. Many believe it began in the later half of the 20th century when a young man tossed seasonal greetings wrapped around uncooked potatoes into the yards of houses decorated with Christmas lights. It was his way of saying thank you and Merry Christmas. Before the advent of the Christmas Potato there was no way to easily thank those who brighten our holiday season with their unselfish efforts. Now each year children and adults alike look forward to the annual pitching of the holiday spud.  But why a potato? The young man grew up in a town called Topeka which means a good place to dig potatoes.



...and if that weren't enough.

This link:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLx-1fo5Kh4Oj4RUh_Ip9PZ3t0MspEPXFS


will take you to the 2016 Holiday Music Mix from me. It is, as always, a fluid work in progress. As it is a playlist at YouTube there is always that chance that random ads may appear based on your browsing history.

Eventually I will get around to posting the liner notes explaining why I selected the songs I did. For the time being let's go with, the songs just fit as far as I'm concerned. Some reflect my mood, some are in tribute to voices now silent, while others make me smile. Enjoy!

Friday, December 18, 2015

Coinky Dink...of Service to Nation

It was the craziest of times...it was best of times...some of the time.
I'm just asking. Have you ever smoked a really good Soviet cigarette? The kind available to only the top & most valued members of the politburo. We're talking the guys with the keys and the codes that did their best to make everybody over here fear the slightest political missteps, Oppenheimer's bright light, the final curtain, goodnight Mrs. Kalabash wherever you no longer are, the comrades with doppelgänger-ish equivalents over here smoking foot long Cubans(still brought in via a certain naval base located 90 miles off the coast of Gator Base One) possibly rolled with a rum cured herb from I and I  jah friend down Kingston way with nicotine stained fingertips itching just inches from flipping the switch and pressing the button, feeling the click point that sets in motion the final Christmas lights display to outshine all others, with both sides knowing it is all big bluff to line the pockets of those the general from the plains of Kansas tried to warn us about.

Let's just say those smokes beat my Chesterfields to pieces, making them taste like mucked out stall straw from that manger behind the inn booked solid for the meteor shower/tax party those many years ago. Pair them with a snifter of equally impressive "Members Only" call cognac beyond most coop worker's lifetime collective stipend and it is time to reflect on the nature of what would have gotten done if our cultures could have worked together to solve problems rather    than merely racing a dog and monkey to the moon. True, a handful did swell and today we have a shared trickle down poverty pyramid assuring most have just enough to goad us into thinking if we continue put our faith in gajillionaire real estate moguls and hunky dudes riding unicorns we all will be better off if we can start just one more war. We've got enough wars to go around for the bottom of pyramid dwellers like you and me but when was the last you ever watched anything good run up to the top. Doesn't work with vitamins, soap, or commemorative plates...sadly I digress. 

October last I reached the age of 60. With that milestone I was legally released from vows of silence taken when I became of draft age in 1973. Having long feared conscription and owing to my govt worker father's connection outside of the USDA I was lucky enough to secure a part time position which, up until the time Ronnie drew the long straw allowing him to let folks think he actually had something to do with Gorby tearing down the wall, covered most misc expenses and built up a nest egg we still haven't touched which fulfilled all patriotic duties. All that was required of me was "conduit maintenance" to ensure the continual flow in both directions of what was then jokingly referred to as "sweet nothings" and in actuality was dribs, drabs, and other little morsels of worthless intel those on both sides of the mythical Iron Shower Curtain were certain would further each of their noble causes. For much of that time I was assisted by a certain thick accented fellow known to me as "Moose's Friend." We were of similar ages and temperament and shared an appreciation of each of our respective culture's holiday lighting traditions. Crazy crazy mixed up world.

When our services were no longer needed and he was no longer welcomed in his homeland I was fortunately in a position to make some phone calls that placed him in contact with others, once again in select positions to assist him along his pathway to citizenship in lieu of services rendered. Now it is safe to share a few particulars of that time. From the pen of Moose's friend, Boris, Mr. Badinoff to most:

Appropriate for season of American holiday international in scope and consequences the brief repetition of tale is good.

For the many years of working as agent with supposedly allegiance both to my country of origin and the land of which you call home and of which I feel much connection and pride my contact of continental US of A, the managerial bureaucrat of my controlling was young officer of intelligence community known for to me as the “rocker.” Now with time past and much classified documents free for the inspection I now understand him to be one and same of man you possibly have known as Mr. Riley.
Little known was of my handler’s nature of truth and consequence. Knowing this one thing was the ability possessed of him to be celebrating of the Christmas traditions known in my home place as the New Year. Of much interest and mystification for me was this potato of Christmas. With much irony of my own childhood joy of камень новый год” or “kamen' novyy god” which is to speak , Stone of the New Year of which I conceived in youth at town of my raising. Was most easily method to share exclamation of joy at holiday decorations and to be saying of Happy New Year. Small letter of thankful expression made to adhere to rock with twist of wire and using acts surreptitious of nature to deliver on ground to yard of dwelling with lights.

With Glasnost of 1990’s our both countries not so much of spying and sneaking was needed except now was not possible for my being with family at New Year beginning. Literally I was man not welcomed in country of origin while distrusted by many in your country of Wild West shoot'em up. For me much luck and providence as my handler now in this your country fabricated story for of my life as red blooded farm boy of wheat covered flat lands with also the creation of documents of proof. However with this favor all connections and communications must to immediate stop. A sad necessary stipulation for the preservation of “my scalp” as those of you might say
.
Finally now as favor of thanks and joy I find providence to supply you with token of my homeland in expression of seasonal cheer to friend I have never to be yet seen with actual eyes, for both his assistance and invisible comradeship over many seasons. Expressing joyous thanks of cooperation of great yet different belief for collective positive goal. My way of saying, “ Much thanking and wishing of hope for happiest of New Year and Merry Christmas”
respectfully, 
Moose's friend of always
Always to remember make the tossing of kamen novyy god a safe and responsible pleasure! 

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

No White Christmas This...




Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Happy Holidays!
Seasons Greeting!
Wishing You The Merriest of Christmas Memories!

I'm a little late to the party this year. I haven't even made my Christmas Music Mix yet. I haven't done any PR for the Christmas Potato either. Not sure what the deal is. At least I've got all the shopping done for gifts that must travel through the postal system. I'm not sure why I've not transitioned into full-on, full tilt, full figured holiday mode. We all love excuses so I'll blame the rampant nativism that's sweeping our country and the divisive negativism that many cheer and applaud as if it is patriotic. Seriously, do folks really think anything is gained by turning away those in need, attacking others because of religious beliefs, or not lending a helping hand to those in need. The version of the Christmas story I was raised on stressed those positive behaviors. My folks never turned away anybody on a Christmas Eve. I still remember times when last minute guests showed up and there were presents and a stocking in the morning for them.  I also blame the, real or imagined, global climate change. It just doesn't get as cold lately as my memory says it should.

Then last night the spirit bit me right in my rather ample Santa-ish posterior. Carson made it home from Baylor and even more importantly our neighbor across the street inflated his pageant of cold air inflatables and it dawned me why he does.

He just wants to be a dentist....like Hermie. Dr. D, DDS decorates his yard with  a giant Clarice, Rudolph, Santa, and really giant Bumble. The Bumble is easily as tall as the real one that haunted my dreams back in 1964 when the special first aired. I was in third grade and probably a little old to be frightened by a fuzzy stop motion animated white teddy bear type creature. Complete disclosure it scared the living s...Christmas out of me. In the last 51 years I've watched it every year which took some planning in the days prior to video tape, VCRs, and DVRs. I can still imitate most of the voices well enough to at least  amuse my own two adult children. Who ever heard of a Charlie-in-a box?

So now I'm in the spirit and having completed my mix last night I'm ready to share. I've also got links to the Spud video and the other blog entries have verbiage as well.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and have a swell New Year!

Click on link below for:


No one is quite sure how the tradition of the Christmas Potato began. Many believe it began in the later half of the 20th century when a young man tossed seasonal greetings wrapped around uncooked potatoes into the yards of houses decorated with Christmas lights. It was his way of saying thank you and Merry Christmas. Before the advent of the Christmas Potato there was no way to easily thank those who brighten our holiday season with their unselfish efforts. Now each year children and adults alike look forward to the annual pitching of the holiday spud.  But why a potato? The young man grew up in a town called Topeka which means a good place to dig potatoes.








2015 Blue Light Special Christmas Mix

Recently I watched a documentary on the making  of Springsteen's monumental album, The River. It got me thinking about records and songs that I just can't let go of. There has always been records that I can listen to in the same manner that Travis Bickle drives a cab, "any time..any place. I go all over." Albums like Working Man's Dead, Crazed Hipsters, Late For The Sky, London Calling, Rubber Soul, The Return of Doug Saldana, Sticky Fingers, The Jam's That's Entertainment, Tommy, and others I can play over and over never getting tired of them.

It is the same thing with Christmas music. There are some tunes you just don't get tired of. Christmas is the worst time of the year to be by yourself. That's why we have Christmas blues songs. So with that in mind I present a selection of songs concerning loneliness & lost love  counterpointed by seasonal music that always makes me feel better. Enjoy...
Annotative notes follow track listings
Track 1:   God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen-Eddie Higgins Quartet
Track 2:   Merry Christmas Baby-Johnny Moore's Three Blazers with Charles Brown
Track 3:   Thirteen Years-Alejandro Escovedo
Track 4:   The Christmas Song-Dexter Gordon Quartet
Track 5:    Late For The Sky-Jackson Browne
Track 6:    Christmas Time is Here-Vince Guaraldi Trio
Track 7:    Alison-Elvis Costello
Track 8:    Christmas Must Be Tonight-The Band
Track 9:    It Makes No Difference-The Band
Track 10:  Wild Theme(Local Hero OST)-Mark Knopfler
Track 11:   Little Drummer Boy-Louis Bellson
Track 12:   Hidden Bonus Track

Track 1:   God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen-Eddie Higgins Quartet
Track 1 is a perfect example of  what this  year's mix is all about.  Beginning with a familiar holiday melody recognized as such the song gently shifts and glides as all four band members are given a chance to offer their own extrapolation of the song. It rings familiar and fits, but doesn't sound exactly as we expect. That's the driving theme of this year's mix. Songs of heartbreak( to amplify the notion of seasonal loneliness) followed by music that has always comforted me at Christmas time.

Track 2:   Merry Christmas Baby-Johnny Moore's Three Blazers with Charles Brown
For my money the all time greatest Christmas Blues. Working in record stores you were forced to listen to the same records over and over in a work day. At those times when I was tired of the constant replay of the hit de jure I'd slip on a collection of Christmas blues to heal and calm the blues and blahs of a long day. The first notes of this song transport me to a cold lonely street  with the snow beginning to fall at two a.m. on a Christmas morning. Last call has been called, seconded, and I'm on the street making the long walk to a chilled one room apartment with nothing waiting for me but a noisy radiator, a lonely single bed with just enough covers to keep me not quite warm and a pathetic twisted cast off remnant tree on the table. The eleven tarnished thrift shop ornaments reflecting the blue flamed  stove top burners are the only lights this tree knows. Even as I make the long walk I smile knowing that when I wake up in the morning to whatever awaits, for at least a day, it will be Christmas and that makes everything right.

Track 3:   Thirteen Years-Alejandro Escovedo
It might just be the saddest song I've ever heard. I ache and nearly cry when I hear the song, yet I can listen to it over and over. Told from the perspective of a rock n roll widow stuck at home while her performer husband traipses across the country from town to town. Sadly most of us don't know we're losing something important until it is already gone. 

Track 4:   The Christmas Song-Dexter Gordon Quartet
The Christmas Song and Dexter Gordon says all that needs to be said. I wasn't that familiar with Gordon until I heard his version of, "As Time Goes By," in 1976. I started listening to his older recordings and even if I'm no jazz aficionado I like him. That's the way it is with honest music. You know it when you hear it. Whether people admit it or not when you listen to a record we know if it is a genuine reflection of the artist or a song composed simply to soullessly make money and sell. works on Christmas songs too. It means Christmas(your own personal definition, subjective to the max) or it doesn't.

Track 5:    Late For The Sky-Jackson Browne
Thank you, Abdel. Since high school I've liked the music of Jackson Brown. In the fall of '74 when I first bought the record I liked it, but it didn't make it into my constant replay pile. Back them I owned no more than 100 albums(all in mint condition) and at the time thought I had at my easy disposal a vast collection of sounds and aural treats. In those days an integral ritual of courtship was the, "Have you heard this one." Sitting in an apartment with the member of the opposite who you hoped to impress you carefully played albums you hoped would spark the "conversation," to the next "level." Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know whut I mean, know whut I mean!" If your choice didn't enhance or create the desired mood you had roughly 20 minutes, one side, to plan the next choice.
 Abdel was the best record store guy I ever met. In Topeka the two good record stores for the longest time were Paul's and Mother Earth. Abdel started selling records because Paul made a rude comment when Abdel wanted to buy a copy of Love Sculpture's version of "Sabre Dance." Thank god for the diss. I had many records suggested and recommended to me by Abdel. Last I heard he was on an island off the coast of Sicily helping substance abusers rehab. So... I'm in the store one day and he asks what I thought about the latest Jackson Browne. My response was ill defined taking no position one way or the other. He eyes grew wide, he laughed, shaking his head and exhaling a cloud of Camel unfiltered, "No. I mean have you REALLY listened to it?" Later that day I did and...The track here expresses the emotion of trying and hoping to find someone to connect with while defeating yourself with pressure you yourself create. As cinematic as most songs get.

Track 6:    Christmas Time is Here-Vince Guaraldi Trio
Nothing needs to be said other than Peanuts Christmas Special.

Track 7:    Alison-Elvis Costello
Record store story. My Aim is True came out Christmas season 1977. I heard the promo when I made our order and said I'd take 25 or 30, whatever the a box was from Columbia. Small numbers for a small store but for us 25 up front on any title was a big deal. The rep was like, are you sure, most folks are getting like 10. I knew it would sell and it did and from the release through Christmas we sold almost 75 copies. The best part was Paul's ran out after he sold his first 3 copies.  I hit with both Saturday Night Fever and the first Dire Strait's record too. We sold tons and never ran out. Thinking back about it the store probably only a buck or so on each one. Stupid story, stupid time, but the song that sold that record every time I played it in the store, "Alison."


Track 8:    Christmas Must Be Tonight-The Band 
Track 9:    It Makes No Difference-The Band
Next we have two songs by The Band. During the Golden Years(live musically speaking 1970-1984) I was lucky enough to see most of the bands I wanted to live. I tried 3 different times to see the Band and each time they cancelled the show. Same thing happened with Waylon. There were other bands tacked on as opening acts by the labels I couldn't escape. The Last Waltz(about the Band's last show)might be the best rock and roll concert movie ever made. Supporting Dylan and on their own, The Band, and its various offshoots have had a far reaching impact on American music. Sadly for the last 40 years of infighting and various creative, financial, and personality conflicts kept the band from playing together as The Band and now with over half of the original members dead and gone it isn't ever going to happen. Me thinks there is a lesson there. "Christmas Must Be Tonight" and Steve Earle's "Nothing But a Child," are two of the best written and most Christmas-y contemporary holiday songs that also stand on their own as great songs. "It Makes No Difference" is the ultimate song of the frustration and defeat at the hands of a relationship." Stampeding cattle....they rattle the walls."

Track 10:  Wild Theme(Local Hero OST)-Mark Knopfler

Go ahead ask yourself why this song is on here. It isn't Christmas music and it isn't about heartbreak, loss, or the bleak reality that is the tragedy of the human experience. I just like the song. It is from the soundtrack to the movie "Local Hero." In late 1983 and early 1984, I was putting a plan together, a scheme, that if successful would allow me to meet one of  the life goals I'd set for myself. I'd always said that someday I wanted to live in Graford and work in my grandfather's grocery store. With the recent passing of my paternal uncle's widow I hoped to purchase her house in Graford whether I moved or not. I just wanted to own a house in Graford, a getaway of sorts. Growing up with both sets of grandparents in Graford it was where we usually went for a vacation, for Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas break/New Year's day and whenever my mother cratered, had a spell, or any other euphemistic term for dealing with manic/depression. I felt safe in Graford. As I've gotten older I've come to realize that the Couger house and more so Pump's house were the only two places I actually felt truly safe. I won't detail it here, but trust me, a kid in my shoes or the shoes of my brother or sister needed a place to feel safe. When one of my mother's brothers announced he was moving to Denver I called my uncle, Erwin, and proposed me coming to work in the store. It would mean leaving Austin and working for almost 1/3 of what the record store paid....while I thought it over I played the Local Hero soundtrack repeatedly. Local Hero, the movie, is why I moved. It taught me how to recognize what was really important. It is a move I will never regret and still ranks as some of the most honest purposeful work I ever did. I've lived in this area for all of the last 30 years except  for a two year Quixote-esque journey into the west. I guess I've included it to represent the challenge and quest we all live trying to balance self centered notions and desires with our oft unfulfilled obligation to be kind and help others. I remain convinced it is possible by living a balanced life focused on the 14 precepts of inter-being taught by Thay Hahn and others along with the recognition of obvious ethical concepts almost all humans recognize in one form or another.

Track 11:   Little Drummer Boy-Louis Bellson 
If we all remember to create the best of all possible worlds  by sharing our gifts with others, no matter meager or small they may appear(like  el caganer behind the the mangers of Catalonia) a better life for as many as possible will exist. Working for that better world is what Christmas is about for me anyway. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Track 12:   Hidden Bonus Track
Seriously...if I said anything or even gave clues it would defeat its own purpose.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Toss Responsibly...


Color enhanced photographic record of aftermath of irresponsible Christmas potato tossing. 
Date, location,  status of victims post incident, & final case disposition all unknown

Remember to always throw Christmas potatoes responsibly. A message from The National Potato Council Board of Govenors and members of The FreeState InterFaith Council nationwide.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

What a wunnerful world...




Having just awakened from a horrible dream(repeatedly revisited recently causing me to speculate that, like Scrooge, are these images meant to provide a window into a possible future lest I change my ways and habits)I wished to check the current  time.

Time...an artificial construct agreed upon by the peoples of the world to control & track a fleeting unnecessary notion similar to our belief in a system that assigns value to arbitrary random items because of perceived levels of, "That rock shines am be pretty. Mongo want big." If we can agree on concepts such as time and wealth wouldn't ya think we could sneak in peace, equality, and a weasel based power grid?

So...I go from dreams of uncontrollable palsy,the inability to make myself understood when speaking, and an outward personal presentation indicating drunkenness, to...,"1:39, it's gotta be later than that.

An aside: normally I sleep wonderfully on a regular consistent basis. However, the first few days of the winter break from school sleep alludes me. I guess I'm in a big hurry to relax and not waste time.

1:39 a.m. After checking the time I find a photo enhanced message from Young Thomas delivered from the Crescent City.




Uptown New Orleans full-bore tater tossin' is on!

 To see the quinisential American city "tossed" is proof beyond Louis's raspy claims that despite it all, "what a wunnerful world!"

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Christmas Potato Classic vs. New Christmas Potato





The video is just over 8 minutes of spudliness"

Link to Christmas Potato on YouTube 

Shortly before our 3rd year of throwing Christmas potatoes the biggest selling soft drink in the world decided to scrap the formula of their best selling carbonated beverage and replace it with a flavor more similar to another brands signature flavor.

Almost 30 years later it still doesn't make sense. Shortly afterwards they brought the old flavor back and labled it "Coke Classic"

Which leads me to the new version of the Christmas potato story. In this case it isn't a battle  of "new" vs "classic." It is just a minor update in the telling of the same story with a few very small changes newer artwork or re-imaginings.

For anyone that hates to break tradition here is a link to the "classic" telling of the story with all the original art from 1993 created with the first version of the color version of Kid Pix. 

Now the best of both worlds is available.
Merry Christmas

The Story of the Christmas Potato Classic